Where the fuck is my ummm…. cigarette huh?
huh? ummm uhh I need a fucking smoke. Shit…
Um…. can you just get on with the story?
Hmmm…long time ago, back, back back when, who the fuck knows when?…. Monsters existed among us. Yes, they truly did. Well not really truly monsters. uhhh… Zombies. And… They ate people. Well the females Liked it, but the guys didn’t. Guys don’t like to be eaten, it sucks, its a female thing. So… as we continue… She’s Running!!!
Ahhhhhhh… oh my gosh…. what the fuck? He’s coming to eat me. What would my husband thing if he saw us. Oh into this house. Oh fucking yeah, it’s dark in here. I’m safe. Lock the fucking door. I’m locking it, i’m locking it, I’m safe. Oh let me breathe, let me breathe. I can’t believe it, how could I cheat on my husband I loved him so much?
What the hell is going on here?
I know…. I know those monster guys are very…. very uh…
I know they want to eat you.
They not gonna eat you, but they’re not gonna eat you either
I won’t tolerate that shit.
Well… where the hell is my bologna sandwich
Who turned on these damn lights. Why the hell were the damn lights off.
Where the hell is my bologna sandwich? I put the damn sandwich in the tool box. What the hell?
I’m gonna kill…
Oh my gosh no…. I didn’t let them eat me. I eat your bologna sandwich
Actually I gave it to him, because he was really hungry. I was wet, I’m sorry… uhh… I don’t know.
Jerry… You gotta please, you gotta believe me, re re, you really do.
I don’t believe that shit. None of that. I don’t believe none of that shit. You know what? I’m gonna move these chairs.
Nnnn No, what are you doing? what are you doing?
Gonna put this damn piano on top of our ass..
Ohh… No, Jerry you can’t.
I can’t believe he put a freaking piano on top of me. Shit hurted.
(Knock on door)
Hello, let us in.
Let us in, the hell?
Hello. Let us the hell In
We’re coming to eat you.
No you can’t I’m married
(Screams) No stop
Stop!!! Before I kill you
Did you eat that lady? Did you eat her? Why did you…
I don’t know, I really don’t know. She tasted so damn good. You know. She’s a lot better than guys. She tasted so damn good. I just couldn’t helped myself. Had to eat her ass.
But you’re not even a monster. What the fuck?
I just CAN”T, help myself. Shit.
What’s wrong with you? Are you a freaking zombie? You want me to kill you? The hell.
Man 2 (Yelling)
Shut up!!!, Let me do what the fuck I want to do. I’m gonna eat who I wanna eat.
Um… Look I’m sorry that we uhh… ate your wife sir. We were very hungry. Yeah. She pretty much liked it. And we liked your bologna sandwich too.
Well… this just in uh…. looks like uh normal people, are eating people too. We don’t know what the hell is going down now. We’ll now just have to… shoot everybody. Cause that’ what we’re going to do. You know I’m going to shoot my damn self. I just might eat somebody. And just might not understand what the hell is going. So let just, lets just get the shooting. Everybody just die.
Man From Distance:
Yeah…. we’re coming to kill you, and then uh… we’re going to kill ourselves
What the hell? Everyone is coming to kill us. This some bull shit. What the hell are they doing?
hey hey hey, We’re just going to burn…
Um… they’re coming
Are those monsters? Yeah… those are those monster things. Yes. Oh My Gosh hurry up… We need some damn gas so we can drive away.
I don’t wanna get killed or eaten. What the hell?
Come on. let me shoot the shit. We need some damn gas. Hurry Up.
Looks like we’re going on a killing spree.
Oh… Man… is, is that a negro?
I hope they kill the negro first cause, cause cause… shh
Oh great, now all of us are negroes. What the hell?
Now they’re going to kill everybody. Huh? Great.
THANK YOU Bob for turning off the damn lights.
Hey Shut up.
Hey… um…yeah… great now we’re all going to die. Lights off…. great, we’re all negroes.
Might as well just die now.
Well. We killed all the negroes. Don’t know why. They were the one, making us eat people. It wasn’t us eating our selves or our wives. They had Telekinesis. You know. Thanks for the water. Yeah so… that’s what happened. We killed them all.
Yeah we killed them all. Yeah so I’m going the fuck home to go eat my wife. And…. there ain’t a damn thing you can say about it.
Well… that’s it? Goodbye. Shit.
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